One spacers can FUCK the fuck off (subtitle: why I will ALWAYS use two spaces after a sentence)

So, I read this article Space Invaders by Farhad Manjoo that tells me that people who use two spaces after the end of a sentence are wrong.  Wait, not wrong, WRONG.

First off, FUCK YOU, Farhad Manjoo.  I haven’t even addressed the right/wrong thing yet; you just seem like a complete douchebag.  You can just hear the snobby attitude in his words:

“…and yet people who use two spaces are everywhere, their ugly error crossing every social boundary of class, education, and taste.”

Douchebags like you are everywhere, their douchebaggery crossing every social boundary of class, education, and taste.

“You’d expect that anyone savvy enough to read Slate…”

YEAH like Slate is right up there with the Oxford English dictionary as far as correct grammar.  Pompous asshole.  Let’s get to the meat of this, though…

“What galls me about two-spacers isn’t just their numbers. It’s their certainty that they’re right.”

THE SAME COULD BE SAID FOR YOU.  What, some typographers from way back when decided that there should be only one space so they’re obviously right?  FUUUUUUCK OFF.  It’s just an arbitrary selection made by some people who denoted themselves “experts” (and believe me, I’ve had quite enough of people who call themselves experts and expect you to believe everything they say because they’re the expert.  ”social media experts”, anyone?)  .

Oh, shit, there’s more.

“Every modern typographer agrees on the one-space rule. It’s one of the canonical rules of the profession, in the same way that waiters know that the salad fork goes to the left of the dinner fork and fashion designers know to put men’s shirt buttons on the right and women’s on the left.”

WHO GIVES A FUCK ABOUT ANY OF THAT?  Look, I understand that people like to have stuff in the places that they like, but seriously, does it make the food taste any better if the fork started on the left?  Does it get digested more thoroughly?  IS IT PASSED MORE EASILY WHEN WE’RE DONE WITH IT?

It all comes down to they’re saying I’m wrong, because someone else says I’m wrong.  But those are just OPINIONS, not facts.  Sure, maybe he’s an expert, maybe he’s got tons more experience, but it’s still his OPINION.  If you come at me with some measurement of something like the Cesium-3 atom that denotes 100% that there should be only one space after a sentence, OK fine, I’ll concede.  But until then?  FUCK OFF.